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I DON'T WANT TO LIVE BECAUSE LOVE HAS MURDERED MY HEART AND I CAN'T DIE BECAUSE LOVE ITSELF HOLDS ME BACK.

HIGHWAY PREMIER

It's midnight and i just came back home .My whole yesterday went deciding on what to wear, so with all the "dhumtananannana" I somehow managed to look ramri :P(that's wot ppl said) and went to the Premier of the most awaited movie 'HIGHWAY'.  Well to tell you I shot a small role for the movie where I open the door for the hero who comes to kill the heroine who is  my real life best friend but unfortunately the scene isn't there .SAD  how hard I had tried to open the door ;needed a lot of practice phewwww acting is tough. oh well who cares I'm not even in the movie.Anyways , so talking  about the premier, it was a well organized event with so many kuirayss, a very fyaaaanchy party, many hi-fi people,few faces in the crowd that I knew with photographers clicking photos. 

aba Highway ko kura garda, it was a total disappointment. It was kind of a churos promoting movie;smoking in every scene possible. Concept that the movie was trying to portray was not clear. The movie didn't have an ending; I mean the movie suddenly ends and you become Laaah sakkyo?? yehi ho?? .The good thing about the movie was the acting and Illam ko chiya bari rest of the part was just another piece of crap. The movie just leaves everything for the audience to imagine....keep imagining type ko. Whatsoever it was a good first attempt. Lot of good actors on the line, I see good future for nepali cinema in the years to come. 
And the other ramailo thing is  I'm dancing in the coma of drinks I had. :) I love my blog and i hate my slow internet connection!

Happy Birthday TODS

How can I forget a Birthday that I am so used to remembering from so many years?
The years we've shared have been full of joy.
The memories we've made will go on and on
Things may have changed between us but my good wishes for you haven't.
On your Birthday
I wish for you the fulfillment of all your fondest dreams
I wish for you that whatever you want most in life
it come to you just the way you imagined it or even better.
You may wonder what's coming, what life has in store;
Will it be just the same? Will there be a new door?
Remember this, as you blow out the last candle:
Life holds no challenge that you cannot handle
So happy birthday to you Tods
 From the bottom of my heart.
And may your good times multiply,
Till they’re flying off the chart!
                                            
-   Didn't wish you in person because I wished you here.....

Inside me!

I see the stars sparkling so bright,
 I touch the warmth of the sky
I feel the feeling through my  veins
I understand  this passion spent,
And yet . . . Inside I die.

The Glass Has Shattered

They say love starts with a smile and ends with tear: My love also started with his mesmerizing smile and ended in my silent tears. I never wanted the stars or the moon. All that i wanted was him. But he was never destined to be in my life.
It's been months since we broke up, ended a fake relation that never was, but I am still holding on to the past- all those times I was living a lie and he was playing smart with me.
I was head over heels in love with him but he never cared a fig about me. I was just another  crazy girl who was after him. He broke my heart twice,but i still loved him. He fed me with so many lies and i wasn't aware.I was crushing my own heart until finally I was torn to pieces.
Months have passed but his memories still haunt me.I am lost amidst lonely nights and tear drenched pillows.I try to move on but it is really difficult.
Each night I pray for his presence in my heart to fade away,to have strength to forget him and bring back the lost 'me'. Each time I see him around, my heart skips a beat and  I cannot smile.I have stopped being happy and started living with my solitude.
Relationships seem to bother me and this restrains me from moving on. Queen's song got it right with 'Too  much love will kill you'. Now I know it takes away everything.
I'm trying to get over him,start a new life but his words still hurt me. He gave me tears and pain, abandoned me and never cared to look back.
I know I have to forget him,learn to say goodbye,and let go of  those memories that never were true.With him I was living a life of illusion but I know all the heartaches he gave me will remain in  my memories forever.

it's just a feeling

Words were few
Feeling more
Pain in my heart
I could no more show
 I was lonely among the world
Place was full but i knew no one here
Endless were my thoughts
Tried to pen it down
but nothing i could write
I expressed it thoroughly
but no one could get it right
for endless were my thoughts
for lonely I was
& for lonely I am…

my first blog

I have been thinking of blogging  and here i am ; created a blogspot for myself and its actually ramailo :) Named my page rainbow of colours  because  somehow the word 'rainbow' makes me  smile :) I just found out that the first Blog doesn’t come easy. I try to write when I have something to say or something to share but at this  moment  too many somethings in my head is making me write nothing ..... ..